Wow. The response to my Q & A post was unbelievable. I am beyond flattered. Thank you!
There is no way I can answer all of your questions in one blog post so I am breaking the questions into topics. Each day this week I will discuss a few of them until (hopefully) all of your questions are answered. If not, leave me a comment.
1. Money, money, money!
How do you save money? How do you afford such nice furnishings? You seem to spend boat load of money on clothes, how do you afford it? Are you in debt? How did you save for a down payment on a house? How did you pay for your wedding?
Some of you wanted to know about our finances so let’s talk money.
The answer is simple: We save. Period.
First, we carry no debt. No car payment. No credit cards. No engineering graduate school debt (I paid this off last year). Nada.
How do we accomplish this?
We live off one income and the other goes into various savings accounts.
Mr. Mojito and I are both blessed with fairly lucrative engineering jobs (crosses fingers that this continues in the future). We both contribute the maximum to our 401K and invest in mutual funds.
It also helps that we live in a townhome in suburbia Dallas where our mortgage is cheaper than when we lived in apartments. (Not to mention the standard of living in Dallas is MUCH less expensive than most other parts of the U.S.)
We also don’t buy anything unless we can pay for it with cash.
There is a common misconception that I spend a shit ton of money on clothes, purses, and shoes. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Those who know me well know I dress like a hobo 90% of the time. I never spend money on clothes. Ever. Honestly.
In terms of the down payment for our house, we split it 50/50. Mr. Mojito used money that was left to him from a deceased relative. My portion came from earnings I made working through college.
Our wedding was paid for in a similar fashion. Mr. Mojito used the remainder of the money from his deceased relative, and I used the remainder of my savings from college.
We work hard for everything we have, but I can see from the brief snippet of my life portrayed on my blog how it’s easy to assume we’re just another $30,000 millionaire couple. We’re not.
2. Oliver Pancake
Oliver is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
We chose a Cavalier because they are the cutest stinking dogs we’d ever seen. As a breed, Cavaliers are perfect for us. They’re smaller in size so they live well in a townhome, they have hair instead of fur (I have bad reactions to fur dogs), and they have a sweet temperament by nature.
I’ve always loved the name Oliver, and the nickname Ollie, so his name was an easy choice. I let Mr. Mojito choose his middle name. He decided on Pancake after Erin at BEB mentioned it. I can’t wait to see what the middle name of our next dog will be.
Before we got Oliver we researched and researched breeders. It is true that Cavaliers have a shorter life expectancy (approximately ten years) and heart problems, but we made sure to go with a reputable breeder to try and avoid common health problems found in the breed. Our breeder’s Cavaliers, in particular, are primarily award-winning show dogs. Oliver couldn’t be considered in this category because he was too small.
We do leave Oliver alone all day. I hate it, but that’s life. We bought this crate and put a plush crate mat in it with a few of his favorite toys to keep him occupied. He is fully crate trained so we don’t worry about accidents. When we get home from work we make sure to play with him and give him some exercise.
If we decide to get a sibling of the four-legged variety for Oliver, we will definitely get another Cavalier, specifically another male. Right now we like the name Finley (Fin for short) and Benson.
3. Talk to me about babies.
Many of you know how I feel about this so feel free to gloss over this response…
First, I want it to be known that I LOVE children.
It is something that is hard for me to explain, but I have never had that “feeling” to be a mother. Even as a little girl, playing with dolls with my neighborhood friends, I was always the stylish model jet setting across the world while my friends took on the role of mother and caretaker.
I love to be around kids and watch them learn and grow. Heck I was a children’s swim coach for six years and a nanny since I was eleven-years-old, but I just cannot ever see myself being a mother. It is strictly a personal choice, not anything brought on by medical reasons.
When I tell people this I usually get a mixture of the following responses:
“You are so young. You’ll change your mind.”
“You’ll regret not having children when you’re older.”
“It is different with your own kids.”
“I never thought I wanted to have children either, but now I cannot imagine my life without them.”
“You are going to miss out on one of God’s greatest gifts.”
“Don’t you think that is a very selfish decision?”
“You’re rejecting womanhood and why God made you.”
“It’s not normal for a woman not to want children.”
“Why would you take away Mr. Mojito’s right to be a father?”
While all of these statements/questions may be true (only time will tell), it still does not change how I feel.
Often times, when people learn about my decision to remain childfree, I am looked at as crazy, dysfunctional, and abnormal. I hate the peer pressure from society and the stigma that comes with the lifestyle of “childfree.”
Because you know what? I am not crazy, dysfunctional, or abnormal. I just have a different family view than most people, and I am content with that. People often forget that having children is a choice and not expected.
Now when people ask, “When are you going to start having kids?” I answer with, “That is not even in our plans right now,” and leave it at that. If they start to give me any of the above comments, I usually say, “I’d rather not discuss this topic with you.”
Bitchy? Maybe. Do I care? Not at all.
Who knows, I may wake up on my thirty-fifth birthday and decide I want to start a family. I will not know until that time comes. Plus, we are not opposed to adoption. Until then, I am at peace with my decision.
I am sure many of you are wondering about how Mr. Mojito feels about not having kids. He is 100% in agreement with me. The conversation about when and if we would have children occurred early in our relationship because I wanted to be upfront and honest with him. If he wanted kids, I wanted him to get out of the relationship early instead of being together for five years and then we have to break up because kids are a deal/relationship breaker for most couples. Mr. Mojito has two younger brothers so I hope one day I can be the fun and cool aunt and spoil their kids like they were my own.
But my self-imposed childfree lifestyle is also my biggest fear: That one day either I or Mr. Mojito will wake up and decide that one of us wants to have a baby while the other person is still aboard the No Baby Train, leading to the demise of our marriage (i.e. Emily Giffin’s Baby Proof). I pray that if that time comes, we can make it through to the other side stronger.
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